Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Eleven (Four Parter!) (4/2/10)

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Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Eleven (Four Parter!) (4/2/10)

Postby alien3335 on June 19th, 2008, 3:41 pm

I'm perfectly accepting of constructive criticism. I understand that I'm not the best writer and really am hoping to improve, so if you have tips, please do share. :D Also, the first couple chapters are a bit confusing, just a warning.

Generation One
Prolouge Mina Ronstrosity, how did you get yourself into such a mess?
Chapter One The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Chapter 1.5 You may think I have faith in fools. My friends call it self-confidence.
Chapter Two When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Chapter Three Everything was so different before it all changed.

Generation Two - College
Chapter Four Some of my friends are for it, some are against it. And me? I'm standing with my friends.

Generation Two
Chapter Five Hospitality is making your guests feel at home - even when you wish they were.
Chapter 5.5 There cannot be a crisis next week, my schedule is already full!
Chapter Six If you want your spouse to listen and pay full attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Chapter 6.3 Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Chapter 6.6 God gave us time so things wouldn't happen all at once.

Generation Three - College
Chapter Seven Falling in love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.
Chapter 7.5 Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Generation Three
Chapter Eight I'm not young enough to know everything.
Chapter Nine If we are the only intelligent life in the universe, at least there's a finite number of idiots.
Chapter 9.5 If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius.
Chapter Ten Men stumble over the truth sometimes, but most pick themselves up and hurry off like nothing happened.

Generation Four - College
Chapter Eleven If it weren't for caffeine, I'd have no personality whatsoever! *New*
Chapter 11.25 It is far better to be alone than to wish you were. *New*
Chapter 11.5 Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation. *New*
Chapter 11.75 A simple thank you would do. But a big thank you and a box of chocolates would do better. *New*

Other Important Things
LiveJournal The Shrimp Shack
Continuously Updated Recap After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history. *New*
Gen. 2 Heir Poll Closed, Winner: Aiden
Adam's Bachelor Challenge Finished, Winner: Missy
Family Tree!
Last edited by alien3335 on April 2nd, 2010, 5:40 pm, edited 25 times in total.
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter One

Postby zoompha on June 19th, 2008, 4:11 pm

Ooh, I really like this so far! I usually read more playful legacies but I really like the writing style that you've got right now. Personally, I don't think you should change it, even if it is bugging you. :P I adore the sub-plots and Mina's dreams are really making me anxious. The suspense is killing me! :)

Anddd...Bookmark! :D
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter One

Postby alien3335 on June 19th, 2008, 6:57 pm

Okay, yay!
I don't think I will change it. I got halfway through the next part and thought Okay, how would I do this in this writing style?
So yeah.
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter One

Postby MsJessica on June 19th, 2008, 9:58 pm

Hi there!

I'm really enjoying your new legacy! The suspense is killing me as well, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how things are revealed!

Good luck figuring out your writing style!!
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter One

Postby alien3335 on June 19th, 2008, 11:23 pm

Thanks! And I am just going to stick with the way I've been writing.
I'm close to being done with the next part, I'm just having a bit of trouble getting gen. 2 into private school. (Stupid glitched headmaster. Grr.)
Should be up within the next few days... If I don't get lazy. :lol:
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter One

Postby MsJessica on June 20th, 2008, 11:27 am

Good luck with private school! That is not something I have yet attempted!! I hope you can get the headmaster to de-glitch!

Looking forward to it!
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter One

Postby Bekah on June 20th, 2008, 1:09 pm

I love your writing style, so I'm glad you're not changing it. I do hope you can figure out a way to incorporate Mina's funny faces into your current writing, though. I look forward to reading more. Great job!
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter One

Postby alien3335 on June 20th, 2008, 3:32 pm

Thanks for all the compliments, guys.
The next half a chapter is up.
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=225871
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter 1.5

Postby zoompha on June 20th, 2008, 7:14 pm

Ooooh, that was fast! *runs off to read chapter*
_______

*returns* Yay! You got the headmaster to work! :) Good chapter once again and I shall be awaiting the next one. :D I have my suspicions about the people in the dream, but I ain't tellin' nothin'. *shifty*
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter 1.5

Postby alien3335 on June 20th, 2008, 7:31 pm

Hehe, yeah. I tried to make it obvious without being too obvious.
I forgot to add in a few extra shots, but I ran out of room and it would make it extra obvious if I changed it now. Oh well. XD
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter 1.5

Postby MsJessica on June 21st, 2008, 8:32 pm

Thanks for the new chapter! It was a lot of fun :)
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter 1.5

Postby alien3335 on June 21st, 2008, 9:40 pm

Hey, no problem. Thanks for reading it.
I actually have the next part almost ready. (I'm really speeding through this first part.) I just have to do a bit of proofing and editing and adding in a few twists. :o
But don't get used to these speedy chapters, it's only because it's summer and I have nothing better to do.
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter 1.5

Postby MsJessica on June 22nd, 2008, 7:08 pm

Makes sense re: it being summer. It's a little like that for me, except what it means is that I've been spending a lot of time with my simmies, not particularly writing anything up yet. But I'm working on it :)
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Two

Postby alien3335 on June 29th, 2008, 6:32 pm

Chapter 2 is out now.
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=227745

And just so you know, I'm leaving for camp then my dad's which means simlessness for almost a month. I'll try to get the next chapter out, I've already taken most of he pictures.
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Two

Postby zoompha on June 29th, 2008, 7:18 pm

Yayyy, new chapter! Wow, you're really speedy with these things. :D

Aww, poor Adam can't get a date. And- random scary tramp! AAAHH!! *runs* :lol:

Great chapter, I'm all antsy for the next one already. :) Oh, P.S. the last slide made me laugh so much! Repo Men never fail to amuse me. :lol:
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Two

Postby alien3335 on June 29th, 2008, 8:46 pm

Oh yes, those Repo men and their insane faces. XD
I'm excited for the next chapter, too. *has a big reveal planned* I just took a lot of pictures out of order and don't want to sort them out. XP

BAH! I don't wanna pick an heir. I love them both. XD Heir poll it is, after next chapter where you see Aiden teenified.
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Three

Postby alien3335 on July 5th, 2008, 2:04 pm

The new chapter is up! :D

And don't forget to vote in the Heir Poll!
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Three

Postby zoompha on July 5th, 2008, 10:13 pm

Yay, new chapter! That was spookyyyy. *shifty* Your simself is evil, by the way. Just thought I'd let you know. :lol:

Haha, still a great chapter, though! And now, I must run off to the heir poll! :D
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Three

Postby smo52oms on July 6th, 2008, 8:40 pm

Loving the legacy - how come I never heard of it until now?

The cliffhangers are incredible, the plot very well thought out! I can't wait to see how everyone reacts to the changes - or who gets to be heir.

Spelling is great, photos are great, is this your first legacy? And don't worry about being to wordy, either. It really adds effect to your legacy. And the Simself touches are great, too.

Who is that strange man?
~Jane~
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Chapter 5 out February 4th!
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Re: Monstrosity Legacy - Chapter Three

Postby alien3335 on July 17th, 2008, 10:45 am

Chapter 4! Yay! College chapter is OVER! :D

So, anyone want to be in the bachelor challenge? PM me. :lol:
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