Killers' Asylum: Chapter 2 and Final (11/23/07)

[professorbutters]

It is with a deep sense of shame that Squeaky Clean Productions presents the

Killers' Asylum

Chapter One.

You will recognize various factors from the Squeaky Clean Legacy, but not, regrettably, our morals.

Chapter Two and Final.

PB

[strangerhood7]

An asylum challenge?! By Professor Butters?! I'm definatly reading this! I will make a longer comment later, I'm at school now. This is like a holiday away from the pink for you, isn't it?

[WriterTina]

Hehehehehe.

HEHEHEHEHE.

*falls over, gasping, and expires*

[avidreader2466]

I loved it, Professor!

Spoiler:

How perfect, though, that your Sims aren't going nuts or killing themselves! Yet, anyway. I tried one of these things once, and four or five of the inmates died in a fire while the controllable Sim was at work. You've been lucky so far. I can't wait to see if that continues!

I look forward to the next part! Oh, and I love your choice of inmates. Perfect!

Denise

[stacilee]

Well, it's another hit from Squeaky Clean Productions...

Spoiler:

What? What did you *think* Cecil's pyjamas were going to look like? You think he runs around with a bare torso?

Perverts.

Sometimes the unseen just makes you want to see more...

I'm loving the asylum with a fiery passion. Cecil is perfect for this kind of lifestyle unfortunately. Once again, I want to hate him so much. For heavensakes, he's a villian!! But he has that silver-tongued smoothness that makes me smile. I can see why people follow him so easily.

I love how Mrs. Crumplebottom is the ward nudist. It seems all that repressing of natural human desires has finally gotten to her.

Seeing Death vomit was a delight as was seeing Cecil "cheat Death". I laughed aloud in my cubical on that one!!

Thanks, Prof! This is a great way to kick off my holiday.

[MichelleFobbs]

No! No, Professor, you can't do that! You can't...

Spoiler:

...give Cecil everything he wants? Only you could put someone in charge of an insane asylum and make them so darned happy. But is this really healthy? A non-monologing villain networking with such potential allies as Crumpy and Death? I shudder to think of the chaos he could spread to the Squeaky Cleans after this!

Romance, how perfect! Though I agree with you, I believe his dream date would be himself.

Favorite line:
On the other hand, it is nice to see that the Count Fosco Home encourages religious tolerance and a flexible outlook.
A Bunny eating Grilled Cheese, how perfect! Now if only Bunny will get food poisoning and make an offering to the Potty God, it'll be perfect. But no, your patients just have to clean up! Strange days... a clean, skill-filled asylum, only you, Prof.

I had no idea you were working on this, but I must say it makes me very happy! Can't wait for the next week!

[penguingirl0384]

*Stops* *Stares* *Starts laughing*

Spoiler:

Cecil is romance? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *breaths* HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! This is going to be very entertaining. I loved the joke about the remote control car as well.

On the other hand, it is nice to see that the Count Fosco Home encourages religious tolerance and a flexible outlook.

This quote had me laughing. A social bunny with grilled cheese. Sushi will be proud.

Figures Cecil would be thwarting your plans by having a sane asylum. I'm sure it will get crazier later. I would love to see the shrink meet the other shrink...

Very enjoyable. I'm looking forward to reading more.

[EphemeralToast]

Oh, this was so much worse/better than I expected...

Spoiler:

CECIL!!! *shakes fist* The very idea of him as a romance sim gives me the jibblies.

Some things are just too horrible to be shown. Or even thought about. I just waited behind the garage door, closed my eyes, thought happy thoughts, and waited for it to be over.

Which is possibly what Cecil did, too.

hablbalhablahablahablab
*sound of jibblies*
*sound of universe imploding*
Wow... Renee is quite in demand this week.

Cecil: I am Playing Chess With Death. How Russian Literature of me.

Geez.

Cecil: Why look. I do believe I am cheating Death.

I laughed so hard at that I almost peed. Also at the picture of the social bunny eating grilled cheese.

The "inmates" you picked are perfect. Although I think I might have looked for some... larger undergarments for Mrs. C. You really ought to be careful about wishing for fires, though. All it takes is one fire while your playable is at work, and you'll be lucky not to lose everyone at once. Fires are when you start getting inmates dropping into asp failure, too, since family and knowledge sims hate it. Apparently sims will drop down to the line between Red 1 and Red 2 asp over time, but to cross the line into Red 2 (and into the desperation actions) a fear needs to actually push them into it, like a fire or a bad conversation. Which is probably why so far they're just whimpering politely. Just give it time...

Edit:

Spoiler:

Ooh, I saw the ticket machine. The microwave was for a business, wasn't it? Hmm... romance sim + ticket taker =

[Oh Rubyblue]

HA! *dies laughing*

Spoiler:

This is so undeniably awesome that I feel I don’t really have the words. It’s entirely too perfect. Even the ways in which it is so very wrong (Cecil’s aspiration) is perfect. Everything about it is incredibly entertaining. It had me laughing the whole way through.

Above and beyond the theme, the selection of patients is fantastic. They come to the table with so much back story of their own that you hardly need introduce them.

Cecil is such a... ugh, I don’t even know. Gentlemanly cad? And that's not even right. Curse you for defying labels, Cecil! His nature is hardly pliant and yet he manages to adapt anyway. The contrasts kill me. Even moreso because there are so many issues he refuses to accept, and not because he can’t but because he won’t. Cunning and controlling, willful little bas...ket! Gah. Cecil! Love!! Hate.
I really hate to love him as much as I do. Although I’m sorry he’s giving you such problems. Just another reason he needs a good thwack upside the head.

I don't know that any of that really needed the spoiler tag but I'm going with it anyway.
Can't wait to see what happens in week two!

[NoName]

Postively delightful.

Ironicly, the same thing happened in my asylum. I did have people peeing themselves, but that was about it. It took a while before there were any fires at all.

[DrSupremeNerd]

I love Asylums!

Spoiler:

Of course Flavius was in the Welcome Wagon. Could anyone have expected any less? I detect a phone stalker!

"I warn you that as in many asylums, dark and horrible things occur in this story. Sensitive readers should use caution." Channeling Lemony Snicket?

I sort of expected Cecil to sleep in a floor-length nightshirt or something. Or possibly a Hazmat suit.

I have no sporks. I had to staple my eyelids shut instead. A little warning before CrumpleBottom underwear shots, plzthx?

I didn't know they could roll Wants for a makeover station. Interesting. And a little insulting.

Don't you love that "YESSS!" fist-pump the neat-freaks do when they're going to clean something?

The issue with Jan Tellerman is probably that she's gay, or at least every version of her in my game is.

[professorbutters]

Thanks! I'm glad people liked it. I decided to do it a while ago and that it would fall between all the weddings and the real beginning of Generation Seven. I wrote down a list of NPCs and was curious about what they'd roll. I was always going to use Cecil,

Spoiler:

but when I saw he rolled Romance, I knew I had to do it. Yes, on the fires, I know I've just been lucky, or rather Cecil has. I suspect that Repo Man, Crumplebottom, and the Headmaster are really deep in the red. The Shrink, the SoWo, Grim all seem ok, fits with popularity sims doing well. The Pink Social Bunny possibly not so much. Things could go pear-shaped at any moment.

Toast: (for everyone else, this contains a possible spoiler for a future chapter)

Spoiler:

Cecil as Romance gives me the jibblies, too. If he were himself, he would be horrified, but he's not. I'm not targeting simselves, Renee just happened be around on the first day. Come to think of this, at "home," Cecil has all the connections business perks. He could be dating almost anybody he wanted. Double spoiler [spoiler]good eye. You did indeed spot the stuff for a home business, hence the microwave. When I built, I knew Cecil's Aspiration but not his LTW. The business was designed to draw in potential lovers if he had one of those high number WooHoo LTWs. And no kidding, there are only three sims completely safe from Cecil, and I'm not one of them. It just doesn't seem necessary yet.

Anyway, I may do a week-by-week update. His luck is bound to run out sooner or later.

PB

[Orikes]

Oh what a perfectly WRONG asylum.

The cast of patients is just absolutely brilliant, Prof. I'm lucky I'm home alone, because I was snarf-laugh-guffawing quite a bit as each 'resident' was introduced. And of course, Cecil.. Heh. Cecil as romance just makes me giggle quite insanely. I do wonder if he'll show up as having positive chemistry with anyone in the neighborhood.

I am quite sorry that they haven't been as miserable as you'd like them to be, but it's definitely a funny read.

[robinoli]

Gah-- I read this earlier and actually had a pretty lengthy comment written out, then my mouse decided it wanted to stop working so I couldn't submit it. Now I have to use the laptop to write this out. Eww, laptops.

Spoiler:

Cecil as a Romance Sim is simply amazing. I don't think I need to say anything more about that.

Oh, trust me, people will start dying sooner or later. I did an unpublished asylum a while ago... I intended for it to be published, but everyone died in a fire on the *third day* while the controllable sim was at work. Not exactly an interesting read.

AHAHAHA YES! Stephen Colbert's book is awesome. (Not that there was ever any doubt in my mind that it wouldn't be.)

I never liked Christy Stratton either. I know exactly what you mean about her stalking Family Sims. I like to call her Olga, for reasons I don't exactly know. Maybe I'm subconsciously prejudiced against people named Olga? Maybe I think they're all annoying stalkers?

Anyway, this is great, and if I can track down a working mouse you'll get a longer comment next time.

[smoothiequeen87]

I. LOVE. THIS. I'm reading it for the third time to comment and the jokes are still funny, bwahahahahaha. Prof, you win at life right now.

Spoiler:

So I'm pulling my entire ice cream folder, and I'm sorry, Marina, but until further notice, this will be an ice cream free neighborhood.

Awww, but I love my ice cream. *hoards* Anyway, sounds like you adequately prepared for this according to the rules. By this point you pretty much had me desperate to find out who the inmates were and who was guarding them. It made the shock I got even greater, bwahahaha.

So, inmates? Perfection. I've heard you going on enough about how you're afraid to do this and that and bork your game, and wow, torturing all those potential borkers in an Asylum is perfect. I cracked up when I saw Grim, the Social Bunny, and the Repo Man. Especially at "MY GENETICS ARE FANTASTIC." Brilliance hardcore.

. . . the Remote Control Car!

Ok, ok, that was just a joke, it's going in inventory, but you don't want to add this one via Boolprop either.

HAHAHAHAHA yes I remember that thread! Oh man. That was excellent.

And Cecil...oh God. They ALWAYS roll Romance when they're not supposed to. *insert giggle fit here* Talking about Ironic Punishment, this is hilarious. And really, really scary at the same time. Now, I shall commence quoting my favorite lines.

What? What did you *think* Cecil's pyjamas were going to look like? You think he runs around with a bare torso?

I'm with Toast on this one...he should be wearing the long nightshirt if he didn't want anyone looking. Those pajamas tend to accent the, er, chestal region?

Cecil: It's this way, correct? This is a shoulder?

Dear Sweet Lord. The sad thing is, he's not even being facetious, I bet. That little freak.

Oh, YUCK, he's in love with his GREAT GRANDMOTHER RENEE. On the bright side, I suppose this does answer the question as to whether Cecil can fall in love at all.

Oh sure, Cecil has feelings. The other person just has to be distantly related to him, that's all. *cringe* (As a side note...SPENCER REFERENCES SQUEE.)

Cecil: I am Playing Chess With Death. How Russian Literature of me.
Geez.
Cecil: Why look. I do believe I am cheating Death.

This one is just full of win. Which is why everybody else quoted it too. ^_^

Not SoWo, and not Grim. In fact, I suspect they have a bit of a thing for each other.

Fitting if you think about it. SoWo takes your kids for no reason, and Grim takes everybody else for no reason.

Cecil: Hmm. I wonder if I can ask myself out. Will I say yes? Who knows? I have yet to pluck up the courage.

...ew?

I want misery! I want pain! And I didn't mean a searing pain in my *eyeballs*!

Oh God my eyes they burn. *goes off in search of rusty fork*

Cecil: Miss Worker, I am afraid I cannot accept your Friendly Hug.
Mrs. C: Oh, c'mon, live it up, sonny. I'm in my underwear, razzmatazz!

...WHAT? *death by LOLs*

Score at end of first week:
Cecil: 1
Professor: 0

LOL, poor you. This was not the torture-fest you had imagined it would be, was it? I have the feeling that you may or may not run into some nasty things later, though. We shall see, shall we not? Meanwhile, at least you got a fire, and I think you ought to be thankful that it happened while Cecil was there, because you'd probably have lost all your patients otherwise.

I cannot WAIT for the next installment of this. It's so wrong and nasty...but so, so amazing at the same time. <3

[fireflower314]

Spoiler:

*squeak* COLBERT QUOTE!! Oh man, that made my life even more than Cecil cheating death. *is still giggling about that one*

Oh dear, Cecil as the playable. Cecil as a ROMANCE playable. Needless to say, this is cracking me up. Especially his relationship with Renee. I am just waiting to see her reaction.

I love the inmates you're using, too. That's a fabulous theme. And they're keeping everything so... clean. Not exactly squeaky-clean, considering Cecil's aspiration, but definitely downright tidy.

Aww, Brandi. I think she gets a bad rap- I married her to the founder of my very first legacy, and I loved her to pieces. I was surprised when I found out that few people agreed with me. *siiigh*

Mrs. Crumplebottom's indecent choice of dress is leaving me in stitches, too. Speaking of personality changes!

Cecil even called you to rub it in? D: Well hopefully he'll get what's coming to him in the next installment. I can't wait to read it!

[professorbutters]

And of course, Cecil.. . I do wonder if he'll show up as having positive chemistry with anyone in the neighborhood.

Oh, about that, um. . .he did.

I've played halfway through Week Two and not quite as smooth sailing, I'll just put it that way.

PB

[Orikes]

And of course, Cecil.. . I do wonder if he'll show up as having positive chemistry with anyone in the neighborhood.

Oh, about that, um. . .he did.

Uh oh... I'm afraid to ask. I really am.

[professorbutters]

Uh oh... I'm afraid to ask. I really am.

I know, I know. I am baking chocolate pecan pie in an effort to demonstrate remorse.

I suppose in all fairness that this is a break from my normally very restrictive gameplay. My Legacy sims are wealthy, clean cut and well behaved. The children all get in to private school, they all get multiple scholarships, they never, ever even see the Repo Man or the Social Worker. I only saw the Social Worker once, when a sim in another neighborhood adopted a child. They're all micromanaged from the cradle to the grave, and this goes double for Cecil. So though I may very well lose the challenge, it's still an interesting break for me.

PB

[feralshal]

Yay, an Asylum challenge!

Spoiler:

Cecil as the playable is funny. Cecil as a Romance playable doubly so, seeing as in the legacy he has shown no interest in relationships unless he can get financial gain out of them. It really figures that his LTW would turn out to be career-oriented rather than 20 lovers/woohoos. The inmates are great too, I imagine many a Sim would be grinning at the state of the Repo Man now.

I also am going to be interested to see how many of the inmates meet themselves...though for the Shrink, I think it'll be funnier for the others to get him. "Help, I'm seeing double!" Though so far, the inmates seem to be keeping to something almost resembling Squeaky Clean (apart from Cecil), and all quite domestic. Though the lack of drama could be seen as quite dull, it's actually quite entertaining to see what they all get up to. I suppose Grim following everyone to clean up makes sense, since that's what he does in so many instances of Sim death. SoWo needs an incredible logic skill so she can come up with justifiable-sounding reasons for taking the kids away, and the Shrink as DJ...well, maybe it's not so different than the weird spiral spinning disk thing he uses.

Crumplebottom wandering everywhere in her underwear...the Aspiration may say Family, but there seems to be a side of Romance there too. Maybe that's why she's so bitter at everyone else's relationships...

Can't wait for the next chapter, and I hope you get even with Cecil - he's taking a far too blase approach to this whole thing.